Hope everyone has as low pain as possible.
So as my pain is getting worse, it almost seems like I’m declining every day. It seems like the time has come to start using the wheelchair I have. Now I have felt for a long time that by using this chair would be a sign of me giving up! But I have to try and help myself. The wheelchair that I have is not self propelled so I will have someone pushing me around which I don’t like as I feel uneasy when I’ve used it in the past. Now I have a lot of problems with thinking people are looking at me and talking about me that they can’t see the injury that has me in there. Even now when I use my crutches people are looking and staring at me as I’ve confronted a few of them!!.
Is it just me that thinks like this? Now we are off on holiday soon and Jen thinks it’s a good idea to take the wheelchair but I don’t think I’m quite ready for that yet. I am happy to use the wheelchair assistance at both airports as I this will benefit me big time. I am going to start gradually using the wheelchair so I can build up my confidence as it’s very low, even thinking about going in it makes me feel worse about myself and everything in general. I have millions of things going round in my head like “am I given up” etc etc…. When I know I’m not, but it’s in my head that I am. I also feel my friends are on holiday they don’t want to be helping Jen push me about even though I wouldn’t expect them too but they are nice folk and would offer.
How many of you felt like this when you first used a wheelchair or scooter? Please leave feedback in my comments below.
Thanks for reading it’s currently 0520 I can’t sleep and I’m not tired.
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